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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690619">Hold You Down &amp; Tear You Open, Live Inside You (Love, I'd Never Hurt You)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJavierr/pseuds/JJavierr'>JJavierr</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Cutting, Dark, Dark Shane Madej, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Drabble, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Minor gaslighting, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, psychopath shane madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:13:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29690619</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJavierr/pseuds/JJavierr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist, Ryan has Shane’s name, but Shane? He has no one.</p>
<p>Maybe it was a sick twist of fate. Maybe it was meant to be.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hold You Down &amp; Tear You Open, Live Inside You (Love, I'd Never Hurt You)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The thing is, Shane knows what he’s doing to Ryan.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In a world where everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrists, Ryan has Shane’s name, but Shane? He has no one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe it was a sick twist of fate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe whatever decrepit god making these sick jokes they’ve taken to calling soulmarks had run out of ink and let Shane stumble into the world unbonded.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Maybe,’ he thinks as he scrapes away at the skin of Ryan’s wrist, ‘it was meant to be.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shane!” Ryan whimpered, his voice small. But at the end of the day, his pleas fell on deaf ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shhh, sweetie,” Shane said and turned to him with his cold, cutting eyes embroiled in infatuation. “You want to show me that you’re devoted to me, don’t you? You know hard it is for me to trust people, but I want to believe you, Ryan. I do love you. If you love me back,” he said as he made another cut, tightening his grip when Ryan’s hand convulsed with pain, “if you love me back, you’ll let me do this. If you're so devoted, my name will come back. If you're so in love, you have nothing to hide.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ryan flinched at the subtle accusation and opened his mouth to retort, but Shane beat him to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I trust you with all my heart, baby. I just need this reassurance, understand?” Shane asked as he leaned into Ryan’s face, giving him nowhere else to look but into Shane's eyes. “Do you understand?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ryan keened and began crying but he nodded and bit his lip, bracing for the rest of the pain that was to come. Trusting what Shane had to say.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“See? We were able to be mature about this,” Shane said, bringing his knife dangerously close to Ryan when he pet him, rubbing small, soothing circles into Ryan's temples. He planted a soft kiss on the corner of Ryan’s lips, very warm compared to the situation as a whole. “Do you love me, Ryan?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>You see, Shane’s run these experiments before.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” Ryan sighed tiredly, “I do.” He's been in love with him since before he even learned his name. It's all he has for Shane, he tells himself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>He knows the ink of his name will reappear on Ryan’s skin.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Aw. I love you too,” Shane smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>It’ll hurt Ryan, sure. But if it could convince the man that he’s destined to stay by Shane’s side till the end of time—</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Despite everything, Ryan blushed lightly, happy to have his affections returned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>— then it was worth the pain. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Shane dug another cut.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title taken from "The Horror of Our Love" by Ludo.</p>
<p>Originally it was meant to be Shane manipulating Ryan by being something Ryan needed but only offering his affection after he's "proved" his love, so much so that Ryan's dependency on Shane rewarding him becomes some twisted form of stockholm syndrome where he genuinely believes their love is mutual and becomes more than willing to be devoted to Shane unlike before.</p>
<p>But I'm not a very good writer, so I got lazy and made everything more literal instead.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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